with myself
just me and my brain
and my life seems so big
there’s this number repeating
inside of my head
that seems so contrived
like it just can’t be real
every time i look
out of my window
i see you
exactly how you
might see me
whenever our positions switch
every time i walk
through the streets at dark
i can’t help but notice
the warm lights
shining through the windows
or the people laughing
and talking
and being
with each other
or alone just like me
and suddenly this world seems so full
so full of life and love and warmth
like there’s no situation in which i could ever
truly be as lonely as i sometimes feel
comforting like a mother’s hug
but then yet again
like i’m lost within a sea of creatures
from an unknown species
or rather
like i am the unknown species myself
living among all of these others
as an unconscious imposter
keeping the secret of unbreachable distance
even from my own perception
do any of you relate to me?
because i rarely ever feel related
to this concept of society
a collective of souls
which however seems so unified
as though they are really
all part of one bigger organism
an interconnected system
sharing one mind, one heart and one aim:
to be as one
many in one
just like the seeds of a pomegranate
they stick together while still remaining
as individual beings
that might as well become smashed
when clinging too closely on each other’s side
many in one
while i am merely one of many
yet sensing that i’m somehow still
the only one
who feels just like me
(2024)